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April 26, 2005 - 5:38 p.m. The good folks at Old Navy must be officially out of ideas. Or else maybe they lost a bet. Or are just toying with us out of boredom and/or contempt. Because � tunics? Ads in which the consumer is exhorted to (in what my housemate has dubbed the Best Tortured Rhyme of the Year) � �bust a tunic�? And in which it is strongly implied that men simply cannot get enough of a woman � in a tunic? They�re totally fucking with us. And if you don�t believe me, well, don�t say I didn�t warn you when the Fall 2005 Smock Collection comes out. Tonight, a very nice young man at the gym is going to measure my �body composition.� He was supposed to do it last night, but I arrived early for my appointment and, being both bored and at a gym, decided to kill 20 minutes on the treadmill. Big mistake. It turns out that 20 minutes on a treadmill, while not actually making one skinny, will alter body composition enough to render the testing thereof completely useless. I guess I was thinner on the inside, or something. Today, I have been very careful to keep my movement to a minimum, so as not to upset the finely calibrated body composition measuring apparatus at 24 Hour Fitness. My prediction is that the results will go something like, �You�re a little chubby. But if you give us large sacks of money, we will make you less so.� I am actually considering some personal training time, if it is reasonably priced and they can provide a written guarantee that their trainers are both certified and not too annoying. After all, it is tunic season. A girl needs to look her best.
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I really don't spend all of my time at the gym - June 11, 2005
Protoculture (cool T-shirts)A Delicate Boy Abnormals Anonymous Agave B.Dean Music Carol's Comedy Journal Felisa Fuzzy Pickles Hannah Mae Isobel Divine Jen Fu Dot Net Kosterblog Maya Medicine Balls Mo Pie Mrs. Roboto Pine Barrens Debutante Seafoam Selilavie Sundry Mourning Tight Science Tim's Lounge TranceJen Waterlilies Weetabix The World As Mare Sees It Xeney ********************
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