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June 05, 2003 - 6:53 a.m.

shannon k, girl reporter

So last night, I had a dream that the New York Times had assigned me to do an undercover article on Shoshanna Lonstein. She is the former child girlfriend of Jerry Seinfeld and current designer of cute outfits for skinny girls with big boobs, a group that has suffered and been overlooked by society for far too long, dammit.

Anyway, we went ice skating together and even went to an honest-to-god swimming hole, for pete's sake. But I was sad, knowing that I'd have to betray our budding friendship and write an expose -- on her role in Mideast peace process. What the hell? Could it be that my subconscious knows something that world leaders don't? Is cute, girlish fashion for the buxom the way to world peace?

In other news, just got back from a week with my cool brother and sister-in-law and their adorable children. I will miss them, but I can't wait until the theme from Elmo's World finally leaves my brain.

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